A “Kid-Friendly Safety Plan” isn’t about giving children adult responsibilities; it’s about giving them a “job” that helps them feel safe and avoids them getting caught in the middle. In New Zealand, safety experts suggest focusing on simple, age-appropriate rules.
Here is a guide you can use to talk with your children and a plan you can practice together.
1. How to start the conversation
Use a calm time, not during or right after a “scary” event. You might say:
“Just like we have fire drills at school to know what to do if there’s smoke, we’re going to have a ‘Safety Plan’ for our house. This helps everyone know how to be safe if things get too loud or scary.”
2. The 4 Golden Rules for Kids
- It’s Not Your Job to Fix It: Tell them: “Your only job is to get to your safe place. You don’t need to protect me or stop the shouting. I am the adult, and I will handle it.”
- Stay Out of the Kitchen/Bathroom: These rooms often have hard surfaces or sharp objects. Teach them to move away from these areas immediately.
- The Safe Place: Identify a specific spot. This could be their bedroom (with the door locked), a neighbor’s porch, or a specific tree in the garden.
- No Secrets, Only Surprises: Explain that “secrets” are things that make you feel “yucky” or scared. A safety plan is a plan, not a secret, and it’s okay to tell a teacher or a police officer.
3. The “Practice” Plan (Fill this out together)
| Action | What we do |
| The Code Word | Pick a neutral word like “Bananas” or “Lighthouse.” When you say this, the kids go to their safe place immediately. |
| The Safe Room | Which room do they go to? (e.g., “My bedroom”). |
| The “Go-Bag” | What one toy or blanket will they grab? (e.g., “My blue teddy”). |
| The Help Number | 111. Practice what to say: “My name is [Name], I live at [Address], and I need help because my house is scary.” |
| The Safe Adult | Who is one neighbor or family member they can run to? |
4. Teaching the 111 Call
Many NZ children are afraid of the phone. Practice with a toy phone:
- Operator: “Police, Fire, or Ambulance?”
- Child: “Police.”
- Operator: “What is your address?” (Help them memorize your street and suburb).
- Tip: Tell them if they can’t speak, they can just leave the phone off the hook or dial 111 and stay quiet—the Police can often track the location of landlines and some mobiles.
5. School and Daycare
- Safe Adults at School: Identify one teacher or the “Office Lady” your child trusts.
- The “Password” for Pick-ups: If your abuser is not allowed to pick up the children, give the school a Password. Tell the children: “If someone comes to get you and they don’t know the password, don’t go with them, and go straight to your teacher.”
Important Note for Your Site:
Remind your users that KIDshine and Barnardos offer free programs specifically to help children through this. You don’t have to do the safety planning alone.
Staying Safe and Sane 