Staying Safe and Sane

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P.T.S.D

Dealing with the aftermath of family or sexual violence is incredibly taxing, and feeling like your brain has “rewired” itself is a common—and biologically normal—response to trauma. In New Zealand, understanding PTSD is a key step toward accessing the right ACC and clinical support.

What is PTSD?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing terrifying events. In the context of family and sexual violence, it is often Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), which results from repeated or prolonged trauma rather than a single event.

1. Common Symptoms

Symptoms often don’t appear immediately; they can surface weeks, months, or even years later.

  • Re-experiencing: Flashbacks (feeling like the event is happening again), nightmares, or intense physical reactions to “triggers” (smells, sounds, or places).
  • Avoidance: Trying to stay away from people, places, or thoughts that remind you of the trauma. This can lead to social isolation.
  • Hypervigilance: Feeling “on edge” or “jumpy.” You might constantly scan a room for exits or be easily startled by loud noises.
  • Negative Changes in Mood: Difficulty remembering parts of the event, feeling numb, or struggling to feel positive emotions.
  • Somatic Symptoms: Physical pain, digestive issues, or chronic fatigue that doctors can’t fully explain.

2. Accessing Support via ACC (The Sensitive Claims Process)

New Zealand is unique because of the ACC Sensitive Claims pathway. You do not need to have reported the violence to the Police to access this.

  • Fully Funded Therapy: ACC can cover the cost of sessions with specialized therapists (psychologists, psychotherapists, or counsellors).
  • How to Start: You can contact a provider directly. You don’t need a referral from a GP. You can find a list of providers at Find Support NZ.
  • The “Assessment”: To get long-term funding, ACC will eventually require an assessment by a psychiatrist or psychologist to confirm a “mental injury” (like PTSD).
  • Support Services: ACC can also provide practical support, such as social work or childcare, if the trauma is impacting your ability to function.

3. Protection and Privacy

  • Confidentiality: Your therapy sessions are private. If you are involved in a Family Court case, your clinical notes are generally protected unless specifically ordered by a judge.
  • Police Involvement: Seeking help for PTSD through ACC or a GP does not mean you have to talk to the Police. It is entirely your choice whether to report the violence.

4. Self-Care and Grounding

When PTSD symptoms (like flashbacks) flare up, “grounding” techniques can help pull your brain back to the present. A common one used by NZ therapists is the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique:

  • 5 things you can see.
  • 4 things you can touch.
  • 3 things you can hear.
  • 2 things you can smell.
  • 1 thing you can taste.

Important NZ Contacts

  • Safe to Talk (Sexual Harm Helpline): Text 4334 or call 0800 044 334 (24/7, anonymous).
  • Need to Talk?: Free call or text 1737 to speak with a trained counsellor.
  • Women’s Refuge: 0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843).
  • Shine: 0508 744 633.

When your brain and body have been through the storm of family or sexual violence, they often stay in “survival mode” long after the immediate danger has passed.

In New Zealand, many survivors find that a “bottom-up” approach—calming the body first so the mind can follow—is the most effective way to manage these symptoms.

1. Managing Flashbacks & “Intrusive Memories”

A flashback is your brain’s way of saying, “I haven’t finished processing this yet.” It feels like it’s happening now.

  • The “Now Statement”: Say it out loud to break the spell: “My name is [Name]. I am in [Location]. Today is [Date]. I am [Age]. I am safe, and what I am remembering happened in the past.”
  • Temperature Shock: Splash ice-cold water on your face or hold an ice cube. The intense sensation forces your nervous system to pivot from the memory back to your physical body.
  • Change Your View: Physically move to a different room or walk outside. Changing your environment helps signal to your brain that the “scene” has changed.

2. Dealing with Hypervigilance (Being “On Guard”)

Hypervigilance is your body’s “security guard” working overtime. You can’t just tell it to stop, but you can give it a new job.

  • Scanning with Intent: Instead of scanning for threats, scan for three things you find beautiful or calm in the room. This shifts your brain from “threat detection” to “aesthetic appreciation.”
  • Weighted Comfort: Use a weighted blanket or a heavy coat. The “deep pressure” sends a message to your nervous system that you are secure and held, lowering your heart rate.
  • Safe “Back-Up”: If you’re in public, sit with your back to a wall. Don’t fight the need for safety—accommodate it so your brain can relax enough to focus on the task at hand.

3. Taming Nightmares & Sleep Issues

Trauma often makes sleep feel like “letting your guard down.”

  • Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT): This is a technique often used in NZ clinical settings. During the day, write down a recurring nightmare. Now, change the ending to something where you are powerful or safe. Rehearse this new version in your mind for 5 minutes before bed.
  • The “Landing Strip”: Create a 30-minute transition before bed with no screens. Use a specific scent (like lavender) or a specific playlist. Eventually, your brain associates that smell/sound with “Safe to Sleep.”
  • Post-Nightmare Grounding: If you wake up from a terror, don’t stay in bed. Get out, turn on a soft light, have a sip of water, and remind your body you are in your actual room in 2026.

4. Reconnecting with the Body (Somatic Symptoms)

If you feel numb, disconnected (dissociation), or have “unexplained” physical pain, your body is holding the stress.

  • Belly Breathing (The Diaphragm): Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Breathe so only the hand on your belly moves. Exhale for longer than you inhale. This physically “switches off” the fight-or-flight response.
  • Stamping Your Feet: If you feel like you’re “floating away” or numb, stamp your feet hard on the ground. Feel the vibration travel up your legs. It reminds your brain exactly where your body ends and the floor begins.
  • ACC Somatic Therapy: Ask your ACC kaimahi (case manager) about Somatic Psychotherapy or Trauma-Sensitive Yoga. These are funded pathways in NZ that help you “befriend” your body again without needing to talk through the trauma immediately.

A Note on “Self-Medicating”

In NZ, it’s common for survivors to use alcohol or other substances to “numb out” these symptoms. While it works for a few hours, it often makes PTSD symptoms (especially nightmares and anxiety) much worse the next day.

If you feel you’re relying on substances to cope, you can call The Alcohol Drug Helpline (0800 787 797) for non-judgmental support that respects your trauma history.

In New Zealand, we have some fantastic digital tools designed specifically for our context. Many of these are “Zero-Rated,” meaning if you are on a NZ mobile network (like Spark, One NZ, or 2degrees), using them won’t use up your data.

1. New Zealand Specific Apps (Free)

  • Groov (by Sir John Kirwan):
    • Best for: Daily “mental fitness” and stress management.
    • Features: It has a tool called “Ask Groov” which is an AI-powered support tool available 24/7 to give science-backed ideas for stress and sleep. It’s completely free for all New Zealanders.
  • Manaaki Ora:
    • Best for: A culturally centered, Māori approach to wellbeing.
    • Features: Based on the Te Whare Tapa Whā model. It helps you identify when you are feeling overwhelmed and create a “Self-Help” plan. It is very private—none of the information you put in leaves your device.
  • Small Steps (smallsteps.org.nz):
    • Best for: Quick, 2-3 minute tools for immediate relief.
    • Features: This is a website-based tool (works perfectly on mobile). It has specific “toolboxes” for Calming Your Mind and Lifting Your Mood. It is zero-rated for data.
  • Headstrong:
    • Best for: Rangatahi (young people) and those who like a chat-style interface.
    • Features: A science-backed app that uses a chat-bot style to teach CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and mindfulness skills.

2. International Apps (Highly Recommended in NZ)

  • Virtual Hope Box (VHB):
    • Best for: Crisis moments and “Grounding.”
    • Features: Created by the US Department of Defense but used widely by NZ trauma clinicians. You can upload photos of your “crew,” songs that calm you, and recorded messages from loved ones to use when you feel a flashback coming on.
  • Smiling Mind:
    • Best for: Practical, no-nonsense mindfulness.
    • Features: An Australian non-profit app that is 100% free. It has specific “Adult” and “Workplace” programs that focus on grounding your body when you feel “jumpy” or hypervigilant.

How to use these for PTSD Symptoms

  1. During a Flashback: Open Virtual Hope Box or Small Steps and use the “Deep Breathing” or “Sensory” tools immediately.
  2. When Hypervigilant: Use the Smiling Mind “Body Scan” to help your brain realize that your physical body is safe and present.
  3. For Daily Stability: Set a “Daily Action” in Groov to build a habit of checking in with yourself before the stress levels get too high.

A Tip on Privacy

If you are still in a situation where someone might check your phone, remember that most of these apps can be hidden in a “folder” on your home screen or renamed. However, Small Steps is a website, so you can use it in “Incognito/Private” mode on your browser, and it won’t show up in your search history.