Staying Safe and Sane

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Safe Communities

In Aotearoa, a “safer community” is a network of organizations and individuals who work to ensure everyone is free from violence. This nationwide list covers the primary national services, along with specialized communities for different backgrounds.

1. National 24/7 Crisis & Information Lines

These are your first points of contact for immediate support, safety planning, and local referrals.

  • Women’s Refuge (0800 733 843): For women and children. Offers 24/7 crisis support and safe housing across NZ.
  • Shine (0508 744 633): National helpline for anyone (all genders) experiencing domestic violence. Available 9 am – 11 pm daily (with 24/7 support in some areas).
  • Are You OK (0800 456 450): National information line that helps you find local services and understand the dynamics of family harm.
  • Victim Support (0800 842 846): Provides emotional and practical support, including help navigating the justice system and court hearings.
  • 1737 (Call or Text): A national mental health helpline where you can talk to a trained counselor at any time.

2. Specialized Cultural & Identity Communities

  • Shakti New Zealand (0800 742 584): 24/7 support for women of Asian, African, and Middle Eastern origin. They have refuges and drop-in centers in Auckland, Wellington, Tauranga, Christchurch, and Dunedin.
  • Asian Family Services (0800 862 342, help@asianfamilyservices.nz): Users may contact us anonymously if they feel unsafe sharing personal details initially. If someone is in immediate danger, they should call 111 before reaching out to us. Our team can provide support in multiple languages, which may help reduce barriers for those hesitant to seek help.
  • Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura (Outing Violence): A community specifically for Rainbow/Takatāpui people experiencing partner or family violence.
  • Shama: Support specifically for ethnic women who have experienced sexual or domestic harm.

3. Niche & Practical Support Networks

  • Pet Refuge (0800 PET REFUGE): Provides temporary shelter for pets of people escaping family violence, so you don’t have to leave them behind. They operate nationwide.
  • The Backbone Collective: A national survivor-led group that advocates for changes to the way the legal and social systems treat women who have experienced violence.
  • Age Concern (0800 32 668 65): Specialized support for elder abuse and neglect through their Elder Abuse Response Service.

4. Local “Safer Community” Hubs

Across NZ, local “Safer Community” trusts act as hubs for multiple services.

How to Access Local Services Discreetly

If you aren’t sure where to start in your specific town:

  1. Use the Shielded Site: Go to a website like The Warehouse, Countdown, or Trade Me. Scroll to the very bottom and click the Shielded Site logo (a small laptop icon). This opens a portal to Women’s Refuge that won’t show in your browser history.
  2. Healthify NZ: Visit Healthify.nz and search “Family Violence Support” for a map-based list of every provider in your local suburb.

Privacy Warning: If you are contacting these services from a shared computer or phone, remember to clear your history or use “Incognito/Private” mode. If you are in immediate danger, always call 111.

More

Finding others who “get it” is one of the most powerful ways to dismantle the isolation an abuser worked so hard to build. In Aotearoa, we have a mix of traditional refuges, community-led whānau collectives, and digital “shielded” spaces.

Here is a guide to safe communities and support groups across New Zealand.

1. Community-Led Whānau Support

These groups provide a “wrap-around” style of support that goes beyond just a crisis line.

  • The Aunties (Auckland & Beyond): Founded by Jackie Clark, this is a community based on manaakitanga (care/hospitality). They focus on long-term pastoral care for women who have already left abusive relationships. They provide “what you need, not just what is spare”— emotional advocacy.

2. Specialized Cultural Communities

  • Tū Wahine Trust: A kaupapa Māori service providing counselling and support for wāhine, tamariki, and whānau. They focus on healing through a Māori worldview, restoring mana and connection to ancestors.
  • Shakti New Zealand: A specialist service for migrant and refugee women from Asian, African, and Middle Eastern origins. They provide 24/7 support and have dedicated safe houses and community groups that understand the specific cultural pressures of these communities.

3. Therapeutic Education Groups

In NZ, these are often called “Safety Programmes” or “Strengthening Groups.” They are free and funded by the Ministry of Justice.

  • Respect (Auckland): They run the “Strengthening Women’s Group”—a 10–12 week program designed to help you recognize signs of abuse and rebuild your self-esteem alongside other women.
  • Women’s Refuge (National): Most local refuges run a Living Without Violence program. You do not need to be staying in a safe house to join; these are community-based groups for any woman moving forward from violence.

4. Digital “Shielded” Spaces

If you aren’t ready to meet in person, or if you need to be discreet, use these digital tools.

  • The Shielded Site: Look for the small “computer with a lock” icon at the bottom of major NZ websites (like The Warehouse, Countdown, or IRD). This is a hidden portal that allows you to chat with Women’s Refuge, find safety info, and send emails without it appearing in your browser history.
  • Bright Sky App: A free-to-download mobile app that provides a directory of support services and a “My Journal” feature that doesn’t save any data to your phone (keeping it safe from a tech-savvy abuser).

5. Identifying a “Safe” Community

When looking for a group, ensure they meet these “Safety Standards”:

  • Confidentiality: They should never ask you to share your full name or address with other members.
  • Trauma-Informed: They should never pressure you to “just get over it” or tell you what to do; they should empower you to make the choice.
  • Zero-Shame: The focus should be on the abuser’s behavior, not your “mistakes.”

Warning: Be very careful with unmoderated Facebook “Support Groups.” They can sometimes be infiltrated by abusers or “flying monkeys.” Stick to established NZ organizations like Women’s Refuge, Shine, or Are You OK for your primary community.