After sharing something heavy, your “decision-making” energy is usually low. This Self-Care Menu allows you to pick an activity based on how much energy you actually have.
Think of it like a restaurant menu: you don’t have to do everything, just pick the one that feels right for right now.
Level 1: The “Low-Energy” Snack
For when you feel drained and just want to hide under the covers.
- Weighted Comfort: Use a weighted blanket or a heavy pile of pillows to settle your nervous system.
- The “Childhood Shield”: Watch a movie or show you’ve seen 100 times (something safe and predictable, like an old Disney movie or a familiar sitcom).
- Scent Memory: Use a specific lotion, candle, or essential oil (like lavender or citrus) to focus your senses on something pleasant.
- Hydrate & Medicate: Drink a full glass of water and take any prescribed medications you might have forgotten while you were focused on sharing.
Level 2: The “Mid-Energy” Main
For when you feel restless or “fizzy” and need to move the energy out.
- Temperature Reset: Take a very hot or very cold shower. The physical sensation helps pull your mind out of the past and into your skin.
- Digital Sabbatical: Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and place it in a drawer for one hour. Give your eyes and brain a break from the screen.
- The “Brain Dump”: If thoughts are still swirling, grab a piece of paper and scribble them down—then rip the paper up. It’s a physical way of saying, “I’m done with these for today.”
- Pet Connection: If you have a cat or dog, spend ten minutes just brushing them or sitting near them. Animals are great at sensing when we need “no-pressure” company.
Level 3: The “Active-Energy” Feast
For when you feel strong enough to reconnect with the world.
- Grounding Walk: Go outside and walk barefoot on the grass (Earthing) or just sit in the sun for 10 minutes.
- Gentle Movement: Do 5 minutes of stretching or follow a “Restorative Yoga” video on YouTube. Focus on releasing your jaw and shoulders.
- Creative Outlet: Color in a pre-drawn mandala or just doodle with bright colors. Don’t worry about it being “good”—just focus on the movement of the pen.
- Connection: Call or text one “Safe Person” (a friend, whānau, or a helpline) just to say hello. You don’t have to talk about your story; you can just talk about the weather or what’s for dinner.
The “Emergency” Breathing Tool
If you feel a panic attack or high anxiety coming on, try Box Breathing:
- Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold for 4 seconds. Repeat this 4 times. It is the fastest way to tell your brain’s “alarm system” to shut off.
Staying Safe and Sane 