Talking to a GP about family violence and mental health can be incredibly daunting. Many victims find that their “Crisis Fog” makes them forget key details or minimize the situation once they are in the doctor’s office.
This script is designed to be clinically direct. It ensures your GP documents the situation correctly, which protects your mana and creates a legal paper trail that identifies the violence as the cause of your distress.
Preparation Tip: The “Note-to-Self”
If you are worried about “blanking out,” print this or have it open on your phone. You can even hand your phone to the GP and say: “I’ve written down what I need to say because I’m struggling to find the words.”
The Conversation Script
The Opening:
“Doctor, I’m here today because I’m struggling with my mental health, but I need to be clear about the context. I am currently experiencing [family violence / coercive control] at home, and it is the primary driver of my symptoms.”
Describing the Symptoms (The “Hinengaro” Wall):
“I am experiencing constant hyper-vigilance, difficulty sleeping, and what I call ‘Crisis Fog.’ I’m finding it hard to make decisions or remember things. It feels like my brain is in a permanent state of ‘fight or flight’ because of the environment I’m in.”
The Clinical Request (The “Action”):
“I would like to be referred for a Mental Health Care Plan specifically to see a psychologist or counselor who understands trauma-informed care and family violence. I need help with stabilization and cognitive strategies (like CBT) to manage this stress.”
The Documentation Request (The “Tactical” Part):
“In your notes today, could you please record that these mental health symptoms are a situational response to family harm? It is important to me that my medical records accurately reflect that the environment is the cause of my anxiety, not an underlying clinical disorder.”
The Safety Check:
“Also, is this clinic a safe place for me to receive mail or referrals? If not, can we mark my file as ‘High Privacy’ and ensure no correspondence is sent to my home address?”
Why this script works:
- It bridges the Gap: It connects your Taha Hinengaro (mental) directly to your Taha Tinana (safety).
- It prevents Gaslighting: By stating the violence is the cause, you prevent the abuser from later claiming you are “just mentally ill.”
- It guides the GP: GPs are busy; by asking for “trauma-informed care,” you help them choose the right provider for your referral.
If you feel unsafe leaving the clinic:
If, during the appointment, you realize you cannot go home safely, you can say:
“I don’t feel safe returning home today. Can you help me contact a specialist family violence advocate or the Police from here?”
Staying Safe and Sane 