Reclaiming Your Voice: Why a Police Statement Matters

Talking to the Police can feel scary, but making a formal statement is one of the most powerful moves you can make. It takes what has been happening in the shadows and puts it into the light where the law can see it.

1. It Makes the “Invisible” Visible

Without a statement, the legal system doesn’t know what you’ve been through. A sworn statement is a permanent record that the abuser can’t just “talk their way out of” later. It acts as a foundation for Protection Orders and gives the Police the legal power to step in and keep you safe.

2. It Shifts the Burden Off Your Shoulders

Once you give a statement, the responsibility for your safety moves from you to the law. In New Zealand, if the Police have a clear record of what’s happening, they can take action—like removing the abuser from the house—even if you aren’t ready to go to court yet. This “paper trail” is also incredibly important for the Family Court when it comes to keeping your children safe.

3. It Protects Your “Mana”

Abuse thrives on secrets and silence. By telling your truth to an official, you are breaking the cycle of fear. You are declaring that the violence is not okay and that you won’t carry the weight of that secret anymore. This is a profound act of Mana Motuhake (self-determination)—you are using your voice to build a wall of protection around your life.

4. It’s a Tool for Your Freedom

Think of a statement as a tool you are “weaving” for yourself. It turns a painful reality into a legal weapon you can use to protect your peace. It’s a way of saying, “This happened, it was wrong, and I am choosing a different future.”

Safe and Sane NZ: Tactical Advice

In my 20 years working within the Family Violence space, I’ve seen how much easier it is to help people when there is a clear statement on file. You don’t have to have “perfect” memory or a Hollywood-style story. You just need to tell the truth about what happened.

Tip: You can ask for a specialist Family Harm Officer to take your statement.
Tip: You are allowed to have a support person or an advocate from with you while you speak to the Police.
Tip: You can ask for a gender specific Family Harm Officer to take your statement.
Tip: You can ask for a Diversity Liaison Officer who are located throughout New Zealand to provide liaison between Police and those in our community who identify as LGBTQIA+, Takatāpui or MVPFAFF+* (rainbow communities) and their whanau.

When you are sitting in that interview room, the “fog” can make it hard to remember details. Your goal isn’t to be a perfect storyteller; it is to provide specific evidence that allows the Police to act.

Based on my 20 years of experience, here is exactly what you need to focus on to make your statement a powerful legal tool.

1. Focus on the “Pattern,” Not Just the “Punch”

In New Zealand, the law recognizes Coercive Control. Don’t just talk about the last fight; talk about the “web.”

Tell them about the isolation: “He doesn’t let me see my sister,” or “She tracks my GPS every time I go to the supermarket.”
Tell them about the threats: Even if they haven’t hit you yet, if they have said, “I’ll kill the dog if you leave,” or “You’ll never see the kids again,” that is a crime. Include it.

2. Use “Anchor Points” for Dates

If you can’t remember the exact date, don’t panic. Use life events to help the Police narrow it down:

“It was the Friday before the 2024 Election.”
“It was the night of my son’s prize-giving.”
“It was just after the 6:00 PM news started.”

3. Describe the “High-Lethality” Red Flags

These are the things that move your file to the top of the pile. You must be very clear if these have happened:

Strangulation/Choking: Did they ever put their hands on your neck? Even if it didn’t leave a mark, tell them. This is the #1 predictor of future danger.
Threats with Objects: Did they hold a knife, a hammer, or even a heavy household object while threatening you?
Stalking: Have they shown up at your work, your gym, or messaged you from fake accounts?

4. Mention the “Mental Shielding” Tactics

The Police need to know how you’ve had to change your behavior to stay safe.

“I have to hide my car keys at night.”
“I changed my route to work because I’m being followed.”
“I pretend to be asleep so he won’t start an argument.”

5. The Digital Evidence Trail

The Police love “objective” evidence. Tell them if you have:

Screenshots: Texts, emails, or Facebook messages where they are being abusive or “checking up” on you.
Photos: Pictures of bruises, broken furniture, or holes in the wall.
Recordings: If you have any voice recordings or “Ring” doorbell footage of the abuse.

6. Don’t Minimize the Kids

If the children were in the house—even if they were asleep in the next room—they are “victims” under NZ law.

Tell the Police: “The kids were in the hallway and heard everything.” * This is vital for their future protection and for Oranga Tamariki to provide the right support.

The “Golden Rule” for Your Statement:

If it scared you, it belongs in the statement. Don’t think, “Oh, that’s just a small thing,” or “He was just stressed.” Let the Police decide what is “small.” Your job is to give them the full picture so they can build a wall of protection around you.

What to do if you “forget” something:

It is very common to remember more details after the adrenaline wears off. If you get home and remember something important, you can call the officer back and ask to make an “Addendum” (a follow-up) to your statement.

PREP SHEET: Organizing Your Truth

For use with NZ Police | Tool by Safe and Sane NZ

Fill this out before you go to the station. You can bring this sheet into the interview room with you. It is not your formal statement; it is your memory anchor.

1. The “Big Three” Incidents

Don’t worry about every single argument. Focus on the three most serious or most recent events.

Incident 1: (Date/Time/What happened?) __________________________________________________________________________
Incident 2: (Date/Time/What happened?) __________________________________________________________________________
Incident 3: (Date/Time/What happened?) __________________________________________________________________________

2. High-Risk Indicators (Tick any that apply)

Identifying these helps the Police understand the urgency of your safety.

[ ] Strangulation: Have they ever put hands on your neck or “choked” you?
[ ] Weapons: Have they used or threatened you with an object (knife, tool, etc.)?
[ ] Stalking: Have they followed you or shown up at your work/supermarket?
[ ] Digital Control: Do they track your phone or demand your passwords?
[ ] Suicide Threats: Do they threaten to hurt themselves to stop you from leaving?

3. The Impact on the Whānau

Where were the children during these events?

[ ] They were in the room.
[ ] They were in the next room/heard it through the walls.
[ ] They were physically hurt or threatened.
[ ] They were used to “spy” on me or relay messages.

4. Evidence Log (What do you have on your phone?)

List the specific things you can show the officer today.

Photos of: (Bruises, broken property, holes in walls) __________________________
Texts/Emails from: (Dates/Times of abusive messages) __________________________
CCTV/Ring Footage: (Description of the video) ________________________________

5. Your Tactical Goal

What do you need the Police to help you with today? (Tick your priorities)

[ ] I need a Police Safety Order (PSO) to get them out of the house for a few days.
[ ] I want to apply for a long-term Protection Order.
[ ] I want them to be charged with a crime.
[ ] I just want this documented so there is a “paper trail” for the future.

PREP SHEET – Organizing Your Truth Download

A Message from, Safe and Sane NZ:

“You are not ‘making trouble’ by telling the truth. You are creating a record that protects your future and your children’s future. Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.”

Walking into a police station can feel overwhelming, especially when you are already carrying the weight of family harm. This guide is designed to lower your anxiety by showing you exactly what the process looks like.

Think of this as your “Tactical Map” for the station.

At the Station: What to Expect When Making a Statement

A Guide by Safe and Sane NZ

1. The First Step: The Front Counter

When you walk in, you will speak to the staff at the front desk.

What to say: “I am here to make a formal statement about family harm.”
What happens: They will find a private room for you to wait in. You don’t have to sit in the public waiting area.
Your Rights: You can ask for a Family Harm Specialist officer or a female officer if that makes you feel more comfortable.

2. The Interview: Telling Your Story

A statement isn’t a “test”; it’s an interview. An officer will sit with you in a private room to record what has been happening.

The Format: They will ask you to tell your story from the beginning. They will take notes or type as you speak.
Be Specific: It’s okay if you don’t remember exact dates. Use “anchors” like, “It was around my daughter’s birthday,” or “It was the weekend of the big storm.”
Include the “Fog”: Tell them about the threats, the stalking, and the controlling behavior (like them checking your phone)—not just the physical hits.

3. Support: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

You are legally allowed to have a support person with you. This could be:

A trusted friend or whānau member.
An advocate from Women’s Refuge or other family violence agencies.
A lawyer.
Note: Your support person is there for emotional comfort, but they cannot “answer” the questions for you.

4. Reviewing the Statement

Once the officer has finished typing, they will ask you to read through the document.

Check the details: If something isn’t quite right, or if they used a word you didn’t say, speak up. It is your statement, and it needs to be 100% your truth.
The Signature: Once you are satisfied, you will sign it. This turns the document into a “Sworn Statement,” which means it is now a powerful legal tool.

5. After the Statement: Immediate Protection

Before you leave, ask the officer about Police Safety Orders.

Police Safety Order (PSO): The Police can issue a PSO on the spot, which can order the abuser to leave the house and stay away from you for up to 10 days. This gives you “breathing room” to apply for a long-term Protection Order.

At the Station – What to Expect When Making a Statement Download

Tactical Tips from a Former Police Insider:

Bring “Evidence”: If you have photos of injuries, screenshots of threatening texts, or a log of stalking incidents, bring your phone or print-outs with you.
Take Your Time: There is no rush. If you need to cry, take a break, or have a glass of water, just ask.
Ask for the “File Number”: Before you leave, get the officer’s name and the Case Reference Number. Keep this in a safe place (or take a photo of it) so you can track the progress of your case.